The Top 20 Things Jesus Did NOT Say
04/05/2012 01:41 PM
During Holy Week I was sent this list of the top 20 things that Jesus never said. My guess is that we could compile a book of various things that Jesus never said, but I’m not sure if that is going to be on the top of our to-do list. What do you think of this list?
- Do you see that water over there? I’m about to turn it into grape juice.
- Upon this rock I will build my megachurch.
- Call me. I can help your team win.
- I’m not concerned about the very poor.
- I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.
- Two words: Culture war!
- I’m worried about who will wind up as the next emperor of Rome. I think I’ll start a political action committee.
- No shirt, no shoes, no service.
- The greatest among you shall be the ones who have accumulated the most stuff by the time you die.
- Sabbath, Shmabbath! Forget about it!
- You’ll never see or hear from me again.
- Whenever you eat these soda crackers and drink these tiny glasses of grape juice, you proclaim my death until I come again.
- Did you bring your Bible tonight?
- Do this in remembrance of me on the first Sunday of every month.
- Sing the first, second and last verses.
- Those who are the most religious among you have got it made in the shade.
- The praise team’s new album is available in the gift shop.
- Gay is not OK.
- Follow me, and I will bring you fame and fortune.
- Happy Easter!
This list will not be the subject of my sermon this coming Sunday! I will be preaching on Luke 24: 36b-48. My pet name for this sermon is “A Mind Opening Experience!” Read the scripture and you will see what I mean. Be sure you invite someone to come to worship! It’s important!